Lots of Drafts! Learn from Burma-Shave!

Dad said “What do you know about a brushless shaving cream?” Carl said “I never heard of one.” Dad tossed him a tube of Lloyd’s Eux-E-Sis and said “Can you make a better one than this?” Carl took a look at it and said “Well, I can sure try — I used to be chief cosmetic chemist for the old Minneapolis Drug Company.” Then Carl picked up the phone and ordered the ingredients that he thought he needed, and about 3 o’clock that afternoon batch number one of Burma-Shave came off the fire. It was, frankly, terrible stuff. We had formulations on and off the market about three times. It wasn’t until we got to formula One Forty-three that we came up with a good, stable product. Actually we’d gone by it and were up close to formula Three Hundred, and then Dad discovered some of the old One Forty-three left in a jar and got a real fine shave from it. That’s how we discovered that, if you aged old One Forty-three for two or three months, you got a fine shave with it.

The Verse by the Side of the Road

Frank Rowsome, Jr.

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How Difficult is it to Write at the Level Where Your Work Will Sell?

Extraordinarily difficult.

Here’s a musical illustration that, every time I hear it, scares me to death.

“Because the Night” was written by Bruce Springsteen & Patti Smith in 1977. Reached 13 on the Billboard Hot 100. Springsteen wrote a draft, but, after struggling for four months, stopped working on it. His producer, Jimmy Iovine, suggest giving the song to Patti Smith. Iovine took her Springsteen’s recording and she finished the song. It became her biggest hit.

In 1993, “Because the Night” was covered by 10,000 Maniacs, with vocals by Natalie Merchant. It reached 11 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Do not watch the 10,000 Maniacs video. Just listen. It’s a superb recording. She can really sing. Their version has got a lot of strength and emotion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYZv-o01Qis

The single most terrifying thing about making art is that, if your screen, novel, poetry, or song writing is only at that level of achievement, you have to keep working on it. “Really good” is not enough. “A lot of emotion” is not going to get you a check. You have to blow the reader out the back of the theater. They have to pick themselves up off the floor in awe of whatever it was your work just did to them.

What 10,000 Maniacs did was very good, but it’s a pale thing next to the massive passion and power Patti Smith brings — with fewer instruments. To get you where you want to be, your creative work has to be at the Patti Smith level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_BcivBprM0

This creative stuff is in no way easy.

On YouTube, the 10,000 Maniacs version has 499,000 views.

The Patti Smith recording has 9.6 million.

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Filed under Good Writing, Rewriting, Screenwriting, Uncategorized, Writing Process

Rewriting… Trouble So Hard & Natural Blues

This is your first draft…

Vera Hall

“Trouble So Hard”

written by Vera Hall & Alan Lomax

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9SENzRLk_M

Moby sampled “Trouble So Hard” but had difficulties with the mix and almost cut the song from the album. In the end, Giant Leap assisted, as did Monster.

Draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft after draft and, at last…

This is your polish…

Moby

“Natural Blues”

mixed by Moby, Jamie Catto & Duncan Bridgeman and Dean Honer & Jarrod Gosling

Don’t watch the video.  Just listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC6-TiN19uE

It takes forever to get it right.

But, when you do…

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In Book Soup in Los Angeles!

In very good company!  David Diamond’s new book.  Pam Douglas.  Christine Vachon!!

YSS at Book Soup 2

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Know Thy Antagonist!

My son’s a writer. Go figure.

He’s made a living as a writer since he graduated from college. He’s a game designer, had five or six plays produced in New York and now, he’s got a novel coming out. The folks at Save The Cat! asked him to write a guest column.

Interestingly, he and I reached the same storytelling conclusion, separately. Know what your Antagonist wants. And, importantly, why does she want it? It’s the whole ball game. Everything good and useful flows from those two decisions.

I’ll let him tell you about it.

http://www.savethecat.com/novelwriting/know-your-villains

Please pass this post around to your writer buddies and your reader buddies. Repurposing his existing material means I just had my morning handed back to me and I’d like to help the guy sell a few books!

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Complaints on Confusing Names in NETWORK

Pointed out to me by my student Haley Crutcher.  I’m not a fan of confusing names.  Here from master writer Paddy Chayefsky, are some beauts.  Thank you, Haley!

 

Harry & Howard & Hackett & Haywood & Herron

Howard Beale & unimportant Howard  K. Smith. Harry Hunter & unimportant Harry Reasoner.  BTW, these are all four in same paragraph description on p.1.

Willie Stein and Milton Steinman

Louise & Laureen & Lennie

Robert then Bob McDonough

Bob & Bill & Barbara

Max & Milton & Michael

Jack & Joe & George & John

Lou & Lew… Are they the same person?! I still don’t know.

Roughly 30 first and last names/descriptions to remember. Repetitive caps (although sometimes useful, mostly confusing). Who the capital H is important to remember?! Pay attention.

Women’s descriptions either best ass, chunky, handsome (Laureen),  or didn’t get names (secretaries/housekeeper)

Some last names used and some first names. Harry Hunter is Harry to everyone else, but his dialogue is under Hunter, even though at first his dialogue is under Harry Hunter.

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Emotion is All

Because emotion’s why everybody comes to the table, you better deliver one whale of a satisfying meal.

At every step along the way, whether it’s with your idea, beat sheet, outline, first pass, first draft, and every subsequent draft until you actually hand it to actors to memorize their lines, constantly ask, “Am I delivering as much emotion in this scene, in this sequence, in this story, as I possibly, possibly can?”

“We are in the emotion picture business.”

Ken Kwapis, director of SHE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, THE OFFICE, BERNIE MAC, A WALK IN THE WOODS… etc., etc.

Don’t you ever forget it.

If you’re writing a nine-part self-published fiction series, a TV pilot for Amazon, or five page script to shoot in your backyard with friends, start by asking…

1.) What emotion do you want the audience to feel at the end of the story?

2.) What emotion you want the main character to feel at the beginning?

3.) What emotion do you want the main character to feel at the end?

You go write those questions down. I’ll wait.

The answers, which will likely morph through the story’s development, will be your mantra until you finally finish. Emotion is not only everything, it is the only thing.

When looking at a whole story or scene or part of a scene, whether it is in an outline or a nearly finished piece of work, ask yourself, “Are there moments in here where I can add even a tiny bit more emotion? Or much more?! What can I do to the character to make the character feel more strongly? What can I do in the scene to make the reader (audience!) feel more strongly? Is there something from the heroine’s past I can adjust to make us feel a stronger emotion here?”

You’re smart. You can think of more questions than those.

You can almost always push emotion up a notch. Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen to them and see if it’s in your script. If it’s not, make it happen!

“Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.”

Make your character suffer so your reader can suffer. They pay the money to feel something. So give it to ’em, but only as much as is believable.

My wonderfully wonderful children’s novel https://www.amazon.com/Mrs-Ravenbachs-Way-Amazing-Escapades/dp/1941393586 is about a little boy brutalized by the meanest fourth-grade teacher in the history of teaching. Because the wrenching emotion was too much for her to handle, my gritty New York publicist had to stop reading the book halfway through. She put it away for two days and then started again, calmed down enough to be able to finish. One of my former college students called me, also halfway through Mrs. Ravenbach’s Way, and said, “Please tell me that things get better for this kid…” They had a strong emotional reaction because I put that trap door in there for them to fall through.

Amp up the emotion in your work, every chance you can. Even it’s to give your heroine a splinter in her finger.

When she feels, so do we.

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