Everybody told me it was the best one.  I was excited to see it and came away disappointed.  Disappointed and confused.  I’m not a dim guy but I had no idea what was going on in the plot.  None.

Well, there was some plutonium.  And two women.

Who looked EXACTLY alike!  Same color hair.  Same unusual mouth.  I didn’t realize there were two of them until late in the movie.  Imagine my bewilderment!

Am I the only one?  I mean, I was able to follow TINKER TAILER SOLDIER SPY and that was a plot and a half.

They kept throwing twists at me until I had zero idea which people were on his side and which ones were on the bad guy’s side.  Every henchman had the same build, wardrobe and facial structure.  The plot, or my ability to keep the plates spinning, went flying out the window fairly early on.  After that it was just a ride.  A fun one with cool chases, but story?

I imagined the studio executive reading the script, thinking, “What the hell is going on here?  If I tell ’em I’m confused, they’re gonna say I’m stupid.  I’ll stay mum and pray they know what they’re doing.  But, whoa, this’s like following a single strand of spaghetti through an Olive Garden-sized bowl of pasta.”

Who was the bad guy?  He or she or they seemed to morph and change and waver, like a wisp of cigarette smoke in a barely lit room.  Hard to see or remember.

And, hey, read my book!  One bad guy’s name was LANE.  Another one was named, I swear, LARK.  I never knew which was which.  I’m old and decrepit and have two feet in the grave, but please:  LA** as two characters’ names?  Why not LANE and LAIN, to make it more entertaining?

Oh well.


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  1. Dave

    With all due respect.
    You missed the boat on this.
    It’s not the script that is important.
    its style action and knowing what the public wants.
    And they write on cinematic level. Not on a script level.
    And knowing how the cinematic mind works in the theater.
    I saw this with the whole family. And they are just average folks.
    They all loved it.
    Anyone can write a script.
    That’s know the point.
    You have to write cinematic script, not scripts that read well on paper.
    Eg. James Bond scripts is about visualizing the action first and write it as a director and trusting your instinct as an action writer.
    That is why Nicholl winners cannot write good action on paper for the director.
    And Sir, I had another question, why are script forums like MB, Moviebytes and Done Deal. and Fish Scripts Forum and Zeotrope and Story Link and ScriptChats and ScriptAcitonOn Films are drying up. No one is talking about scripts. Why is Script Tank and Script Pimp not busy anymore. Why is the script world boring now adays? There is no excitement in the script forums anyone. Why is that.
    Last advice to all. Don’t write like a writer. Write like a director. Don’t write scripts for you. Write it like a movie.
    Lets make great movies. Not boring Nichol or the black list kind of movies.
    I challenge anyone to show me an action movie script from the black list that sings and flys and plays like a move.
    For example look at Indian Jones script. It’s not written for the paper. It’s written for the director. So we all must write for and like a director.
    Thank you for your time Sir.

    • yourscreenplaysucks


      I agree.
      It’s what the public wants, action and style, and for sure MISSION IMPOSSIBLE will make a ton of money. It’s an E ticket ride (which is what will make it financially successful)
      You have to write cinematically. Yup.
      You have to write like a director, for sure.
      Knowing how to write good action, though, is very, very tough.

      However, I like a story to make sense. I like the story to work. I like to feel something for the characters. That’s why Peter Parker interests me more than Ethan Hunt.
      If it’s only a ride, it can make a lot of money, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good movie.
      I’d have liked MISSION IMPOSSIBLE a lot more if the story held together and was followable. A film should be more than a ton of surprises that shove us forward to the next action sequence.
      Me, I want to have my cake and eat it too.
      In this case, I got pretty cake and icing, but it stopped there.
      RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK is a wonderful script and incredibly visual. Good call!


  2. Dave

    Great reply Sir. I thank you. Thanks for keeping up your blog/webpage. Hope you post more.5 years ago, i read your book. Still respectful and timely.
    btw, Is possible for you start a script forum like Done Deal Pro where we can discuss more about scripts and movies? We need a script forum that talk more about big movies and big scripts.Thanks.

  3. Dave

    I wish one day there will more scripts like Gladiator (directed by Ridley Scott). The script reads like a director pov and passion and visionary epic fireworks. Every cool. We should all cherish big movies and their scripts and find out why one must write like a director.
    So lets start talking about some of your favorite big movies and their scripts. And how they are not boring and how they are so vivid.

  4. PWyler

    You can still talk about films and scripts on Done Deal and even some of the others forums you mentioned. People are doing it every day. Maybe not as many as they used to, but rather than yet another forum starting up go use the forums that are out there already. Many people have switched to using Twitter and Facebook, but they are not as good platforms as real forums, as far as I’m concerned. Rather than bemoaning how busy some sites are or are not, start conversations. People will jump in. Motivate, don’t negate. 🙂

  5. Dave

    You are missing the boat. No one is talking about big movies and big scripts on Done Deal Pro. Done Deal is done. I recall it was so busy and fun and mod became jealous and alienated and they messed it out by not moderating with ethics and logic and business vision and think like brains like Amazon. Done stayed too small. Why I think we need a new forum that is moderated better. We need a forum that will talk about the scripts of Spider-man, Avengers, and all the big shows on Netflix, and films around the world.

    The owner of this blog here is smart. And he is talking about a big movies. And its scripts.

    So far all the topic on Done Deal is too boring and go no where tags.

    We need a forum that will talk about cool-fun movies and its scripts.

  6. Dave

    I just wanted to add.
    Who are the best action screenwriters in Hollywood right now?
    Is it the writers of Deadpool, Avengers, Antman, Wonderwoman, James Cameron, Transformers?

  7. Dave

    One action TV show was called LOST IN SPACE. The new one is good on a clinical styled action busy camera moves. But it needed a more risky action director like Tarantino or Michael Bay to direct it. LOST IN SPACE needs to made in very colorful on the Deadpool level. Keep the basic story but make it R-rated with tons of gritty and kooky action.

    I did like both version of LOST IN SPACE.
    Even loved the 3rd version (with William Hurt, directed by Stephen Hopkins).

  8. Dave

    As an exercise to strengthen and honing your action style. Write the script to this new Aquaman trailer. THE MOVIE COMES OUT SOON. It promises to be a big movie. The net are loving it. Do it. It’s good for you. I will post mine soon.


  9. Dave

    BlacKKKLansman, imo, SHOULD have more actions, on a higher budget. It’s an okay movie. But the director, Spike Lee did not want to show some powerhouse action. Instead falling to the non-artistic temptation of political snore. So this will alienate the youth of today. BlacKKKLansman should have action that is cool and connect with the youth. Instead is just a well crafted movie without any high concept action.

    The youth will not watch this movie, imo.


  10. Dave

    Just to add.
    BlacKKKLansman can be poetic at times(so is film school productions). But it’s aiming for a very different demographics by doing this. BlacKKKLansman needed more cool(less cerebral) and more suspenseful action with some cool stunts -so the movie becomes memorable.

  11. Dave

    To Further add –
    Mission Impossible did well because if was paced like a cool ride. A combination of thrills and time to catch your breath and wait for next thrilling ride.

  12. Dave

    As an addition –
    Watch this cool action John Woo clip from HK and see if you can write the action script to it as an exercise. Make it operatic, poetic and epic and fast paced and very vivid with script spec rebel. Don’t bore us. Make it move. Make it fly. Give it grace. Give it floor aerial dynamic slides foot and arms action details.

  13. Dave

    To add –
    There is a SHARK movie that just came out called The MEG. Lesson learned on writing action scripts about old high concepts. You got to go epic !! And bigger and nastier. Jaws was cool but the new Jaws must be bigger and humongous. Give us something we have not seen in large proportions.
    Thanks China.
    I love your taste for grandeur.
    The Meg – is doing well at the box office.

  14. Dave

    May i add –
    John Woo is making a come back – here is his latest action movie –
    i can’t get enough slow-mo action. I am sure they took the best from 100 takes.

  15. Dave

    The reason why the new mission impossible was a big hit.

    And why the rock’s skyscraper wasn’t.

    In Mission Impossible – the action felt thrilling and steady, not like Mile 22 (awful).

    In Skyscrapter, the action was too SFX driven and flashy.

    They should learn from the original Towering Inferno.

  16. Dave

    Talking about Tom Cruise –
    Just found out that Tom Cruise might be doing the new Green Lantern movie soon. i just respect an action actor who takes risk.

  17. Dave

    Did the movie Blade influence your action script-writing skill?
    Watch Blade. Read Blade. The script is very vivid. That’s how one must must must write an action script.

  18. Dave

    Crazy Rich Asians is a decent fun movie. But I was hoping they would add more Action-Romance (I mean the R-rated stuff) a bit of the dark humor of Deadpool mixed with Bridesmaid. Yes, Crazy Rich Asians PG mixed with R-rated 2011 Crazy Rich Asians. Meaning – Crazy Rich Asians – does not move fast enough. If they add more action ( a bit of MI king of running and some Martial Arts fights ) – then it would be more fun. Right now – I give it a 7 out 10. Please let’s think outside the box.

  19. Dave

    Talking about action – here is a screenwriter who on Sept 14 2018 will show us how one writes action in a script. Read his past scripts and look for this one.
    It’s a movie from the original PREDATOR.
    NR (for strong bloody violence, language throughout, and crude sexual references)
    Genre: Action & Adventure, Horror, Science Fiction & Fantasy
    Directed By: Shane Black
    Written By: Shane Black, Fred Dekker
    In Theaters: Sep 14, 2018 Limited

    • Dave

      Just to continue on this. Just found out that Shane Black’s The PREDATOR is doing very, VERY well on Rotten Tomatoes.

      This action movie will open big.

      Don’t miss it.

  20. Dave

    This is a sure way to have your ACTION screenplay not-rejected or rejected:
    First thing when you write an action script. Who cares if it gets rejected or not. Keep writing and learn from pro feedback – producers and readers and actors and some. Be strong. Think like a screenplay entrepreneurial. Stop analyzing it.
    Stop writing about it. Just re-write your script.
    Good luck. Ignore the rest. Stick with entrepreneurial sharks. Swim with the sharks like this blog. Forget other blogs. This blog is the BEST.

  21. Dave

    Nicholl comments are in – if u paid from notes.
    Just got some comments from Nicholl Script Contest for my action script. They said my action is too fast paced like a Transformer movie. Really ? My script was like a Space Opera action for the 50s era. Very odd.

  22. Dave

    Simple Favour – it’s okay but so not moving.
    It needed more action.
    It just was fun for a while but never moved fast.
    I don’t know why people liked this movie.
    Maybe they like things slow and abc like a manual?

  23. Dave

    Austin film festival used to
    have an action comic book like contest .
    Do they still have that ?

  24. Dave

    Blumhouse films should make
    more horror action comedy !!!!!
    For example/ remake
    LAUREL AND HARDY AS a modern
    horror comedy action .
    Lots of actors for this part !!!!

  25. Dave

    Final Draft
    script software is good for writing action scripts.
    But sometimes your have to act it our with storyboards.
    Be creative. Good luck.

  26. Dave

    Nicholl Script Contest.
    Just wondering if as test. A top action script is entered in Nicholl. How will Nicholl react. Do they like action scripts.

  27. Dave

    HALLOWEEN is coming.
    Action script can be written to capture the Halloween spirit and win.
    For example. Lets take an ACTION buddy cop script and have THE climax during a big Halloween party in a town and ends in a CITY where it turns wilder than a Halloween party – the masks are real. eg. THE PURGE. Just an idea.

  28. Dave

    Yes, the action movie Venom is out this week.
    So far it looks like the action will rock. While the other parts is very eccentric.

  29. Dave

    Here is one good review of Venom!


  30. Dave

    HERE is the review of Venom from twitter :
    Le Cinéphiles

    19h19 hours ago
    REVIEW: Despite what stupid and worthless bloggers say, #VENOM is a masterwork. Tom Hardy’s performance is a true highlight of the film (and genre). The sex scene between Michelle Williams and the symbiote will remain with me always.

  31. Dave

    Here is another review on Twitter. I can’t wait to see Venom.

    Aaron Couch

    I enjoyed #Venom. It reminds me of a ’90s Nicolas Cage movie in the sense that it’s an Oscar-caliber actor going all-in on outlandish premise and the end result a highly watchable curiosity

  32. Dave

    Wow. Love it. VENOM is a very popular with the audience. Critics are wrong.
    Venom will be a big hit.

  33. Dave

    Wow, script action writers. Good news. Venom, the movie, is projected to make 70,000,000.00 million this weekend. Great news. Good news of action script writers.

  34. Dave

    Actually, just heard- venom the action movie is heading for 80 million this weekend.
    So , write action scripts. Or create your own action super hero.

  35. Dave

    Lots of critics are bashing this action script movie called Venom.
    But the audience are loving it. In future will audience reviews count the most?

  36. Dave

    By the way, this Venom movie had the best motorcycle/car/truck action chase. How did they write that action setup? Too complicated. But the writing would be very full of broken sentences. It was a tad long but still thrilling. Better than Batman. It moved fast.

  37. Dave

    Aguaman looks like an amazing action movie, which comes out this year.
    But the new Robin Hood movie, which comes out this year too.
    Which one will be a good action movie?
    Make sure you when you write action scripts, don’t make it derivative.

  38. Dave

    The action scary horror movie HALLOWEEN come out today.
    As an exercise, try to write the movie just like a movie without be too over-written. For example – read Shane Black’s Lethal weapon, for ideas and examples.

  39. Dave

    GOOD SCRIPT NOTES ,,, FOR action scripts.
    This company is amazing. They are good.

  40. Dave

    The action actor from Mission Impossible (Tom Cruise), will star in this movie next .
    The action writing is going to be clear, crisp and concise and very vivid (meaning vivid like one’s imagination). Most good action are written like colorful blueprint without too many colors. Don’t miss this movie.
    Top Gun: Maverick (2019)!!!

  41. Dave

    Bad Times at the El Royale !!!
    A dark action movie in the style of Pulp Fiction (kind of )
    Bad Times at the El Royale is okay.
    Some fun parts. And some really smart cinematography.
    Over – it’s like beer.
    But Pulp Fiction is Rum.

  42. Dave

    Vox Lux, the movie starring Natalie Portman.
    I saw it, it’s not bad. Maybe I have to watch it again.
    I wished Vox Lux was directed by director who combined some animation with the regular movie.
    Overall – not bad.

  43. Dave

    Austin 2018 Script Contest
    It’s one the most reliable and respectful film festival an script contest.
    I send all my action scripts to them for the contest and amazing notes.

  44. Dave

    WOW Christmas is almost here folks. Lets do this. Lets write the best first draft action script that’s cool and thrilling and fun. Do it before December 25th 2018 !!! Then party. You can do it. You have lots of time.

  45. Dave

    Stop with this LA moving thing. Just work hard. The world is open for films and scripts. Just learn how build a team where you live. It takes a village to make a film. Create a strong team. Yes, it will cost. But be smart and creative with first production budget. Once you have a solid resume or demo of scripts and films short ones and feature, maybe. Then think of moving to LA. Move as a group. Don’t move alone. Move with friends or relatives or wives or husbands or parents or more friends. Rent a place , share the rent. I AM TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT MOVIE THE LA TO MAKE IT in hollywood. Please think of it as a career. This is not a game or lottery. It’s your life, your living, your career, your shelter, your money, your food before we get old. Just don’t think in cliches. Be smart and show some leadership.

  46. Dave

    THE BLACK LIST, script review and or coverage(reading too lazy or management are asking them to use templates)???
    Hi all. Just want to know – why are the script review from THE BLACK lists are sounding like they are using a template or cliche sentences from other coverage and lacking in honesty and passion? And why are they not looking at specific details in the script? Why their readers are not commenting on the details of the script (exact action or beat scenes)? Right now the reviews that I got are too general. Anybody can do this. I hope the owner of THE BLACK LIST fix this problem. THE BLACK LIST MUST LIST specific DETAILS FROM THE SCRIPT into their review.

  47. Dave

    AQUAMAN THE MOVIE is coming this holiday. It’s a big action script, movie. I believe it will be a fun movie. And it will gross 100 million in 3 days. We need more underwater action movies. And Avartar 2 has lots of underwater scenes.

  48. Dave

    Goldman, the most celebrated script Guru passed away. He was one of the best. His script was the clearest. Best was
    6. MISERY (1990)
    Screenplay by William Goldman (based on the novel by Stephen King)

  49. Dave

    Four Thoughts on Screenwriting !!!!!
    1. brainstorm the story, write it like you want to see the movie, then edit
    2. go to films , watch films, to learn about stories and concise screenwriting
    3. don’t go to forums, just read blogs and articles and then write lots of scripts buy not thinking about it, it works sub consciously, all great writers don’t waste time, they just write, because it’s a natural
    4. your 19th draft will be okay, but your 190th draft will be good

  50. Dave

    New movie CALLED “Welcome Home” (and the title is too unthrilling and simple btw, study other thrillers with best thriller titles.
    2018 ‧ Drama/Mystery ‧ 1h 38m
    The acting is good. Movie very okay, borderline TVish. But why the weird ending?
    Were they trying to be a new version of a cheap Night Shamalayan?
    Is there a market for simple thrillers with plausible acting?
    Done a million time in other scripts and novels?
    Why not rewrite Welcome Home to be like Momento or the new Royal movie.
    Please stop with these simple thrillers.

  51. Dave

    WOW aguaman the movie action is rocking
    it rocked china and now the critics are loving it. This movie can be better than Bumblebee. don’t miss it this CHRISTMAS SEASON.

  52. Dave

    Bohemian Rhapsody, the movie. It was too okay. Some loved it. I wanted a more an advanced darker version of Queen. The fans wanted it. But the movie is just okay. One day they should use all the Queens top song in an action movie. Just an idea.

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