Everybody told me it was the best one.  I was excited to see it and came away disappointed.  Disappointed and confused.  I’m not a dim guy but I had no idea what was going on in the plot.  None.

Well, there was some plutonium.  And two women.

Who looked EXACTLY alike!  Same color hair.  Same unusual mouth.  I didn’t realize there were two of them until late in the movie.  Imagine my bewilderment!

Am I the only one?  I mean, I was able to follow TINKER TAILER SOLDIER SPY and that was a plot and a half.

They kept throwing twists at me until I had zero idea which people were on his side and which ones were on the bad guy’s side.  Every henchman had the same build, wardrobe and facial structure.  The plot, or my ability to keep the plates spinning, went flying out the window fairly early on.  After that it was just a ride.  A fun one with cool chases, but story?

I imagined the studio executive reading the script, thinking, “What the hell is going on here?  If I tell ’em I’m confused, they’re gonna say I’m stupid.  I’ll stay mum and pray they know what they’re doing.  But, whoa, this’s like following a single strand of spaghetti through an Olive Garden-sized bowl of pasta.”

Who was the bad guy?  He or she or they seemed to morph and change and waver, like a wisp of cigarette smoke in a barely lit room.  Hard to see or remember.

And, hey, read my book!  One bad guy’s name was LANE.  Another one was named, I swear, LARK.  I never knew which was which.  I’m old and decrepit and have two feet in the grave, but please:  LA** as two characters’ names?  Why not LANE and LAIN, to make it more entertaining?

Oh well.



Filed under Uncategorized


  1. Dave

    With all due respect.
    You missed the boat on this.
    It’s not the script that is important.
    its style action and knowing what the public wants.
    And they write on cinematic level. Not on a script level.
    And knowing how the cinematic mind works in the theater.
    I saw this with the whole family. And they are just average folks.
    They all loved it.
    Anyone can write a script.
    That’s know the point.
    You have to write cinematic script, not scripts that read well on paper.
    Eg. James Bond scripts is about visualizing the action first and write it as a director and trusting your instinct as an action writer.
    That is why Nicholl winners cannot write good action on paper for the director.
    And Sir, I had another question, why are script forums like MB, Moviebytes and Done Deal. and Fish Scripts Forum and Zeotrope and Story Link and ScriptChats and ScriptAcitonOn Films are drying up. No one is talking about scripts. Why is Script Tank and Script Pimp not busy anymore. Why is the script world boring now adays? There is no excitement in the script forums anyone. Why is that.
    Last advice to all. Don’t write like a writer. Write like a director. Don’t write scripts for you. Write it like a movie.
    Lets make great movies. Not boring Nichol or the black list kind of movies.
    I challenge anyone to show me an action movie script from the black list that sings and flys and plays like a move.
    For example look at Indian Jones script. It’s not written for the paper. It’s written for the director. So we all must write for and like a director.
    Thank you for your time Sir.

    • yourscreenplaysucks


      I agree.
      It’s what the public wants, action and style, and for sure MISSION IMPOSSIBLE will make a ton of money. It’s an E ticket ride (which is what will make it financially successful)
      You have to write cinematically. Yup.
      You have to write like a director, for sure.
      Knowing how to write good action, though, is very, very tough.

      However, I like a story to make sense. I like the story to work. I like to feel something for the characters. That’s why Peter Parker interests me more than Ethan Hunt.
      If it’s only a ride, it can make a lot of money, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good movie.
      I’d have liked MISSION IMPOSSIBLE a lot more if the story held together and was followable. A film should be more than a ton of surprises that shove us forward to the next action sequence.
      Me, I want to have my cake and eat it too.
      In this case, I got pretty cake and icing, but it stopped there.
      RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK is a wonderful script and incredibly visual. Good call!


  2. Dave

    Great reply Sir. I thank you. Thanks for keeping up your blog/webpage. Hope you post more.5 years ago, i read your book. Still respectful and timely.
    btw, Is possible for you start a script forum like Done Deal Pro where we can discuss more about scripts and movies? We need a script forum that talk more about big movies and big scripts.Thanks.

  3. Dave

    I wish one day there will more scripts like Gladiator (directed by Ridley Scott). The script reads like a director pov and passion and visionary epic fireworks. Every cool. We should all cherish big movies and their scripts and find out why one must write like a director.
    So lets start talking about some of your favorite big movies and their scripts. And how they are not boring and how they are so vivid.

  4. PWyler

    You can still talk about films and scripts on Done Deal and even some of the others forums you mentioned. People are doing it every day. Maybe not as many as they used to, but rather than yet another forum starting up go use the forums that are out there already. Many people have switched to using Twitter and Facebook, but they are not as good platforms as real forums, as far as I’m concerned. Rather than bemoaning how busy some sites are or are not, start conversations. People will jump in. Motivate, don’t negate. 🙂

  5. Dave

    You are missing the boat. No one is talking about big movies and big scripts on Done Deal Pro. Done Deal is done. I recall it was so busy and fun and mod became jealous and alienated and they messed it out by not moderating with ethics and logic and business vision and think like brains like Amazon. Done stayed too small. Why I think we need a new forum that is moderated better. We need a forum that will talk about the scripts of Spider-man, Avengers, and all the big shows on Netflix, and films around the world.

    The owner of this blog here is smart. And he is talking about a big movies. And its scripts.

    So far all the topic on Done Deal is too boring and go no where tags.

    We need a forum that will talk about cool-fun movies and its scripts.

  6. Dave

    I just wanted to add.
    Who are the best action screenwriters in Hollywood right now?
    Is it the writers of Deadpool, Avengers, Antman, Wonderwoman, James Cameron, Transformers?

  7. Dave

    One action TV show was called LOST IN SPACE. The new one is good on a clinical styled action busy camera moves. But it needed a more risky action director like Tarantino or Michael Bay to direct it. LOST IN SPACE needs to made in very colorful on the Deadpool level. Keep the basic story but make it R-rated with tons of gritty and kooky action.

    I did like both version of LOST IN SPACE.
    Even loved the 3rd version (with William Hurt, directed by Stephen Hopkins).

  8. Dave

    As an exercise to strengthen and honing your action style. Write the script to this new Aquaman trailer. THE MOVIE COMES OUT SOON. It promises to be a big movie. The net are loving it. Do it. It’s good for you. I will post mine soon.


  9. Dave

    BlacKKKLansman, imo, SHOULD have more actions, on a higher budget. It’s an okay movie. But the director, Spike Lee did not want to show some powerhouse action. Instead falling to the non-artistic temptation of political snore. So this will alienate the youth of today. BlacKKKLansman should have action that is cool and connect with the youth. Instead is just a well crafted movie without any high concept action.

    The youth will not watch this movie, imo.


  10. Dave

    Just to add.
    BlacKKKLansman can be poetic at times(so is film school productions). But it’s aiming for a very different demographics by doing this. BlacKKKLansman needed more cool(less cerebral) and more suspenseful action with some cool stunts -so the movie becomes memorable.

  11. Dave

    To Further add –
    Mission Impossible did well because if was paced like a cool ride. A combination of thrills and time to catch your breath and wait for next thrilling ride.

  12. Dave

    As an addition –
    Watch this cool action John Woo clip from HK and see if you can write the action script to it as an exercise. Make it operatic, poetic and epic and fast paced and very vivid with script spec rebel. Don’t bore us. Make it move. Make it fly. Give it grace. Give it floor aerial dynamic slides foot and arms action details.

  13. Dave

    To add –
    There is a SHARK movie that just came out called The MEG. Lesson learned on writing action scripts about old high concepts. You got to go epic !! And bigger and nastier. Jaws was cool but the new Jaws must be bigger and humongous. Give us something we have not seen in large proportions.
    Thanks China.
    I love your taste for grandeur.
    The Meg – is doing well at the box office.

  14. Dave

    May i add –
    John Woo is making a come back – here is his latest action movie –
    i can’t get enough slow-mo action. I am sure they took the best from 100 takes.

  15. Dave

    The reason why the new mission impossible was a big hit.

    And why the rock’s skyscraper wasn’t.

    In Mission Impossible – the action felt thrilling and steady, not like Mile 22 (awful).

    In Skyscrapter, the action was too SFX driven and flashy.

    They should learn from the original Towering Inferno.

  16. Dave

    Talking about Tom Cruise –
    Just found out that Tom Cruise might be doing the new Green Lantern movie soon. i just respect an action actor who takes risk.

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