If someone says, “What are you doing?”… in your writing… beware. Unless they are a blind person, they are going to know what the other person is doing. It’s amazing how often that line can just be cut.
MOM
Are you hammering nails into the coffee table?
Trust me, she’d know.
Also, a tip that you may want to cut some dialogue is “what?”.
MOM
Oven’s ready. Gran gets here in an hour.
NOLAN
I don’t wanna bake these cookies.
MOM
What?!
NOLAN
I’m not feeling it. We’re outta coconut.
MOM
Are you outta your goddamned mind? She pays your tuition!
Could be shorter. Could be better.
MOM
Oven’s ready. Gran gets here in an hour.
NOLAN
I’m not feeling it. We’re outta coconut.
MOM
Are you outta your goddamned mind? She pays your tuition!
See? I’m right!
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