Comment from a client… Unearned Gift & Off Screen Action

This will be two complete chapters in the sequel to my book.

Got this email from a client. I had critiqued his Middle Grade children’s novel. He felt like he was channeling me…

I had crit group this last Wednesday. I found myself repeating your comments about my writing. “The action is being done by the secondary characters, giving the solution to the main character at no cost.”

The hero is the guy who has to win the day. Don’t give the cool stuff to someone who’s not the hero, or not a lot of it. Let the hero win the battles himself.

And, does the main character earn every rung on the ladder that you give him as he climbs toward the solution to the Problem? If he finds it on the ground with no effort, perhaps rethink.

Very bad writing in Disney’s PINOCCHIO… When Pinocchio comes home and Gepetto is not there… and there are no clues to lead Pinocchio toward his beloved father… the Blue Fairy drops a note and tells Pinocchio where to look for him. He should have searched and found a clue.

There. Two chapters I now don’t have to think up!



Filed under character, Criticism, Good Writing, Screenwriting

2 responses to “Comment from a client… Unearned Gift & Off Screen Action

  1. Daniel Pimentel

    When’s should we expect this book? I got my card ready.

    • yourscreenplaysucks

      If we’re lucky, a year from now. It’s 3/4 written (first, awful draft) but it’s a chaotic mess (like the first book was at this stage) and I have to find time to fix it. it is on my list, but earning a living seems to trump book #2 at the moment…
      I’m dying to get it out there because the intervening years have taught me a lot that I want to share.

      What books do you use?


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