more on THE TOURIST…

My writer buddy Chris Ruppenthal saw THE TOURIST and had these thoughts as to why it sucks.

Giant spoiler alert.

1) the hero doesn’t triumph through overt, bare-knuckled action; he outsmarted everybody, but so what. The bad guys are all killed by police snipers… deus ex machina.

2) a fast looking boat goes 2 mph in the canal for a chase. Whoopee. Not. And to add insult to injury… we see it go 90 mph later.

3) why this big run around with Elise? No one knows what he looks like… so just send her a plane ticket and tell her how to disappear.

4) why have Elise get the money? Or did she finally just make a guess at the end because she saw the Janus symbol like that on her bracelet… not clear.

5) all viewers having seen plenty of heist movies… we all KNOW that 744 million pounds (2.3 billion dollars) could NEVER fit in a wall safe… so whole safe thing seems unconsciously bogus

6) Alexander gives back ALL the money! What’s he going to live on? How’re he and Elise going to have a fun, rich life? Don’t buy it.

7) THEY NEVER ANSWER THE BIG QUESTION THAT THEY SET UP…. why would a man like Alexander Pearce think he could take on a guy like Shaw? We need to see him have that plan and then have it go wrong. But Pearce’s motivation never really explained or demonstrated.

8) No Depp/Jolie chemistry… he never looked like he’d really want to fuck her. Or she him.

9) Cops are dumb. Nobody checks on the validity of Frank Tupelo’s story or photo.

10) Don’t buy for a million years that they don’t have a photo of Alexander Pearce after Jolie has been sleeping with him for a year! Gee, the cops can take a zillion surveillance photos of her when she’s alone and at a cafe, etc etc, but never could before when she was with Pearce?

11) Cops SECRETLY tail Jolie… on land or water… from about 10 feet away. All to keep all the players within camera frame. Bad Directing. This guy should’ve watched more Michael Bay movies.

12) The real tourist (played by Rufus Sewell… must’ve been a friend of Depp’s to take such a small part) was never a viable/plausible suspect as to being the real A.P.



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12 responses to “more on THE TOURIST…

  1. Melody Lopez

    What does A.P. stand for in point 12 above?

  2. Melody Lopez

    Ah, that makes more sense than thinking it was lingo for “Assistant Protagonist.”


  3. Péter Palátsik

    Has anyone read the script by Julian Fellowe and Christopher McQuarrie before von Donnersmarck rewrote it? Or maybe the French original ANTHONY ZIMMER by Jérôme Salle?

  4. What about the plastic surgery that cost quite a fortune, but he still paid back the full amount after having paid for the expensive surgery? And was this movie campaigning for the electronic cigarettes?

  5. HaraGuaMercuryUniqueLSux

    Now I know why I fell asleep a few times when I was watching this movie…

  6. poopoo

    Actually if you do your math right 744 million pounds is less than half of the 2.3 billion dollars and also he wrote a check to the govt. using a swiss bank account. the money was never stashed in the safe just some very important documents.

  7. Shelsie

    Apparently your buddy got a lot of facts or he just wasn’t paying attention at all to detail but that’s cool..I guess smh

  8. Ed Suchman

    Loved the movie. So what about unanswered questions. It is ENTERTAINMENT! Do you really think theres a Superman or a big giant Ape…just fun man.

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