THE TOURIST – Johnny Depp & Angelina Jolie

Hmmmm. Went to see THE TOURIST last night. Sorta wish I hadn’t. Saw it for free, thanks to the mighty WGA card (it’s Oscar season!) and it was not even worth what I paid for it.

What makes this business so puzzling and difficult is that I can’t quite figure out what was wrong with the movie. I could tell, pretty quickly, that it was slow and boring. Slow, I don’t mind, but boring… not a good thing.

What can I remember? Not much, probably. The opening scene was semi interesting, in that Angelina Jolie was in it. After that? She’s at a cafe table in Paris and they’re following her and they’re in a police van the size of Gibraltar and she for some reason doesn’t see it… it’s parked fifty feet away and she can’t tell it’s there. That sort of threw me. It’s like a student film, when the female student is having an affair with her professor, but because they only have students to play the parts, they put a bow tie on the guy, hoping we’ll believe that he’s 50. Oh well.

The movie was just slow.
Angelina just walks and walks and walks and is sexy and never really does anything.
Johnny Depp plays stupid really well, but he does everything really well.
The plot was not about much, really… and we didn’t care about much of anything or anybody.
I mean, what bad guy is going to have a tailor fitting him for a suit and then strangle someone while the tailor watches… he just leaves a witness? Unless it’s to demonstrate to us that the bad guy is so bad he doesn’t care who sees him misbehave? I dunno. Struck a gong of a false note, that one.
And there were several really dumb, unexplained events that just happened because the writer needed them to happen. And these are good writers!

What I’d like, is for YOU to go see the film (better hurry!) and post your thoughts on why it doesn’t work. I’m very interested to hear what you think about it. Failure is generally more instructive than success, so check it out and tell us what you find.

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1 Comment

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One response to “THE TOURIST – Johnny Depp & Angelina Jolie

  1. Melody Lopez

    I saw the movie. I could see where they were going with all the decisions they made. The Jolie character was a cool cucumber…spoiler alert…her being an agent was meant to be a reversal that they failed to maximize cause they seemed to want to keep her subdued as a general rule… but I really loved the ending reversal… was awesome… it was really awesome…was it a bit of a snooze… not really…I was paying too much attention to what they did to…and why they did it and not worrying if it was the best choice or not…cause I got it…I got what they were doing… it is just that they didn’t think FASTER or BIGGER… they thought JUST ENOUGH… did the movie suffer? Not really cause it was a cool cucumber type of story… I liked it…but I didn’t LOVE it… what would have made me love it…is if it had been something it wasn’t…which was MORE ACTION PACKED… and that seemed like it would call too much attention to the story… I thought Depp was totally in character and totally great… I liked his respectful chemistry with Jolie… and I liked that Jolie didn’t do her normal “girl” moves that she does… a specific way she’ll growl, the way she’ll tilt her head back… certain pauses she takes that she does TOO MUCH for TOO MANY characters… but here…she was really subdued and sultry…and I for one don’ think I’ve ever seen her look more beautiful!

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