My Gift To You

Next time you meet a celebrity or agent or producer, here’s something to say other than, “Please, oh please, oh won’t you please read my screenplay?”

Here’s a joke. You tell it beautifully, you’ll get a laugh.

Vacuum cleaner salesman, at the end of a long day at the end of a long week. He’s staring up the hill at a long, long driveway, wondering if he should even try going up it… but he knows he’ll never sell a vacuum cleaner if he doesn’t…

He goes up, and knocks on the door. Nothing happens. He waits and then knocks again. Finally, the door opens. A ten year old boy is standing there in high heels, women’s underwear and a bra, smoking a cigarette.

The salesman has NO idea what to say. Finally, he says, “Sonny, is your mom at home?”

The kid takes a deep drag on the cigarette [put your fingers to your mouth and inhale like hell — then flick the “cigarette” right at the guy you’re talking to] and says, “What the fuck do YOU think?”

Chances are, they’ll ask to read your script.



Filed under The Business

3 responses to “My Gift To You

  1. HAHAHAHA. This is great!! I need to remember this one.

  2. fantastic joke! i just stumbled onto your blog and i like your voice.

    • yourscreenplaysucks

      Thank you for the compliment! Please mention my blog on your blog… I need all the help I can get. Are you a screenwriter? I am always mystified that people ever find this little spot. The Internet is as vast as the ocean Columbus sailed…

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